I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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