I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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