I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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