just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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