really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
