i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
