dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
