I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
