Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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