I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
