You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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