Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
