I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
