take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
