Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
