We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
