I must be too annoying 4 u.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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