You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
