Apparently you make a good broom.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
