that's an acceptable place to lick
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
