oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
