I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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