covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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