Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
