So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
