yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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