is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
