i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
