I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I need to sanitize my soul.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
