You're completely useless in the revolution.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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