I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Randomize
