woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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