I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
whose parrot is this?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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