So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
