Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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