so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
