I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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