woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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