Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
i think im in europe. pls send help
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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