there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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