Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
