he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
