i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
this hospital has no fireball
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
