pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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