I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
