I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
