So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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