Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Randomize
