The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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