Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You are a genius and a whore.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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