thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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